I sat and pondered for a while thinking, what I should put into our first blog? I questioned whether I should start at the beginning, or do I type up the hardest hitting content? I want our blogs to have an impact, I want these blogs to give you an insight into what we see, what we hear and also how this work makes us feel. I do, however, think it is only right to start with a brief background into how this all started. Let me take you back to 2017 when I was a staff nurse on a gastroenterology ward…
I remember his face, I remember the way he took care of the elderly patients around him, I remember the laughs we had. For the purpose of this blog, I will call him Mathew. Mathew was my patient, my friend, who had been admitted into the ward I worked on as a staff nurse due to an overdose. He wasn’t the only person I took care of who had attempted to take their own life. On average, there were three patients a week from age 16 to 82 who had attempted to take their own life. Each with their own story, each with their own pain.
The day Mathew got discharged, I shook his hand and wished him the best of luck. I thought he would be ok. One day after work the following week, I drove past Mathew and waved to him. He smiled back and waved, little did I know the pain he was still feeling. A week after, I was given the news that he had taken his life.
It hit me.
The memories of laughing with him popped into my mind, as did other raw memories of losing colleagues, and friends, all to suicide. I remember shedding a tear privately, questioning myself on what more I could have done. These thoughts continued for weeks until I decided that I wanted to do something. I didn’t know what, but I wanted to do something, anything, just to try and stop this from happening again. I didn’t want to lose another patient, I didn’t want to lose another colleague, I didn’t want to lose another friend.
I didn’t really know what I wanted to do at first, multiple ideas popped into my mind but they never really felt good enough. I battled with self-doubt, “why would someone listen to me?” I am sure many of you reading this will have battled with those thoughts too. However, it is important recognise that we all have a voice. Your input is valuable, you are valuable. Every new idea has started from one person having the confidence to try, so try is what I did. I continue to do so every day, constantly wanting to improve our services, improve as a person and improve the lives of all those we engage with.
When I first came up with the idea of Change Talks, I didn’t just want it to be listening to speakers at an event. I wanted to make it different and a little unique. I wanted the audience to be moved, I wanted them to experience a rollercoaster of emotions and leave feeling inspired. My first thought was, I wanted the audience to witness how it would feel for someone struggling with a mental health issue. Therefore I wrote a script for an actor, who did three short plays on depression, anxiety, and body image issues. I then sat with one of my closest friends, who I know had experienced depression to write a song about his journey. Now I reflect back on the event, I am incredibly proud of everyone who contributed to a truly wonderful evening.
Initially, these events were all I wanted to do, I had just started a doctorate but realised I had a passion for opening up the conversation on these difficult topics. I was approached by Lancashire and South Cumbria Foundation Trust, to transform Change Talks into something for young people. I remember sitting down and thinking to myself, “I have an opportunity here to prevent people from feeling how I use to feel”. I haven’t really opened up much on this blog about my personal experiences, however, there was a period of time where I really struggled too. I do think as caregivers we often try to hide that, sometimes we even think it will impact our careers. We often feel that we would be judged or criticised if we say we are not ok. However, after sharing my experiences I have received the complete opposite. It seems to have a domino effect, where it gives others the confidence to speak up too. If we can’t be open, how do we expect to tackle the stigma in our communities? We all experience challenging times and I feel it is incredibly important to normalise that. As the saying goes, “It is ok to not be ok”.
In January 2018, I left my nursing post. I have to be honest, the decision was made easier because the staffing levels at the time were appalling. I went into nursing because my nana passed away under bad nursing care and I wanted to prevent that from happening to other people. In the last few weeks of working on the wards, I felt I was neglecting my patients, I felt we were spread so thinly, we couldn’t give the care our patients needed, the care they deserved and I know that is still an issue today. I know by leaving I didn’t help the problem, but I thought with this opportunity I could try to prevent what happened to Mathew with other people.
When I joined the organisation, I spent time liaising with pupils, teachers, and parents about what they wanted addressing in terms of issues facing young people. We tried and tested different sessions until we came up with a programme we felt would make a difference. I wanted to ensure our programmes were different to what other people offered and I feel to this day, they all are. We have the perfect combination of lived experience and input from health professionals to ensure we have a strong evidence base. We have found the storytelling is the most powerful part of all our sessions.
The growth of this work in truth, has amazed me and to this day I can’t believe the position myself and the team are in. Following our first pilot programmes, the word spread and schools from up and down the country began to reach out. Not only this, there was a vast amount of media interest which only rocketed the demand for the work.
So what exactly is the work? I don’t want to go into great detail on this blog about our programmes, as we can leave that for another time. However, I can’t keep referring to “the work” without giving a brief explanation of what it is. Change Talks is an educational programme, which aims to improve the health and wellbeing of 11 to 21 year olds. Originally we set out to prevent mental health issues, but it has moved far beyond that. If we get the education right, we can prevent young people from being groomed or exploited and even stop them participating in risk-taking behaviour. Imagine the possibilities if we got this right! Imagine how many people’s lives we could improve for the better.
The Change Talks programme is made up of 15 lessons, which cover topics such as anxiety, stress, self-harm, body image issues, drugs, and gambling. Initially, I would deliver the sessions with the support of internal and external staff. However, we have now transformed this into a train the trainer model, with over 50 people now trained to deliver this work. We also have two new programmes, Start Talks and Ready Talks which are targeted at primary school children. Why have we created more programmes? We believe that if we can open up the conversation on these important topics throughout a young person’s life, we could make a huge difference to their lives going forward.
You may think, how can this programme make such a difference? I believe education is a truly a wonderful thing and sometimes all it takes is one conversation. One conversation can change the course of someone’s life and I believe that our approach to the sessions can impact the many. I believe that our approach using lived experience creates an environment where young people feel confident to say, “I am not ok”. I have seen this first hand and I really believe this work has already saved lives. We are planting seeds in the minds of young people, which I am confident will help them when they experience more challenging times.
We are five years into this work and I could not be prouder of what we have achieved so far. In no way do I mean to sound arrogant, but I believe these programmes should be delivered in every school. I believe this because I believe in every individual who has contributed to make these programmes so impactful.
Without you all, this journey would not be possible.
And finally, thank you to you for reading our first blog.